I find myself drawn to a certain sense of melancholy, apathy, tonight. It's not uncommon for me to feel like this on a Sunday night, but tonight it's a particularly intense feeling. I'm just empty, devoid of feelings, seemingly disconnected from everything and everyone. Worse still, I'm not entirely sure I'm as empty of feelings as I believe I am... maybe, just maybe, I simply don't want to unearth them, out of fear, out of a probable inability to deal with them. For all the effort I put into simply not feeling a thing, there's one side of me that really wants to cling to any semblance of a feeling. Like I said, I really don't know, I really don't want to care.
Ignorance is indeed bliss. Sadly, that's only one side of it... the doubt, the uncertainty of not knowing will eventually eat away at you, wear you down to the breaking point. I wouldn't say I'm there yet, but I have been feeling worn out.
Hopefully, a new week will bring something good. At least I'm hopeful, and that's never a bad thing... :)
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