I don't really think there are "honest" feelings anymore. When we were younger, maybe, but as we grow older things get a lot more complicated and mixed up. Everyone has an agenda, their own collection of interests and goals in life that they wish to pursue. Rarely will they come at no expense to the relationships we have with others. It's simply easier to move forward if we grab on to those around us, even if it means we'll hurt them in any way. It's a tragedy, really, that some of those around me chose this "easier path".
But, you have one life... whatever you do with it, whatever has been done to you, you have to deal with it and move forward. You have to live your life well.
And I do. I live an extraordinary life of tremendous highs and lows, balancing what I should and what I want to do in life, loving those around me, missing those that are not around any longer, those that have left me. Above everything else, I live a bittersweet life of desperate hope and hopeful despair, an unending tale of victories and defeats.
When everything is said and done, I hope I'll be able to say that I lived my life well, that I've done important things, that I've loved and cared for those important to me. I hope I'll never let things unsaid.
And yet, it's all just beginning... *
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