The open road of love and life...

Life has generally been good to me. I can't always see it that way, but deep down, I know it has. Thankfully, I have everything I want, I can do just about anything I please, I can go anywhere I like.

Still, there was always a missing piece. Strong-minded people will always tell you that if you have everything like I described above, you just can't be missing anything. That is simply not true.

There are things you just can't buy, you just can't achieve like that. Some people, myself included, may have "everything", but they don't have what matters the most to them, affection, love.

I recently found love... and it was all I ever wanted to find. I felt "whole", for the very first time in my life. Things suddenly had a meaning, a purpose. I could actually start building the life I wanted for me. Things were looking up.

I deal in absolutes, like I mentioned here before. When I say I love someone, I do, no doubt about it. I just don't play around with something that means the world to me. So, when I say someone "is the world to me", while I may actually be implying that that person is my life, that simply isn't the case. What I actually mean is, emotionally, that person is the single, most important thing in my life and is the basis for a life I wanna build for myself, a life I want shared with said person.

For months, I fought to have my love acknowledged and I finally felt loved, cared, important in someone's life, an integral part of it.

For the most various reasons, it was always hard on me. I come from a long time of solitude, of supressing feelings for fear of being let down, of being hurt and damaged in ways I have before. Slowly, I was overcoming these issues, I was finding my place in my world, in her world. I was, truly, deeply happy. I think she was too.

Everything is different now, and I'm lost and hurting.

Very few people will understand where I am right now...