I could really use a wish right now...

I'm at a loss for words. I'm thankful to the very few friends that have been lending me a hand, putting up with me and trying their best to make me feel okay, to not feel alone. I didn't have such a bad day because of them and only because of them.

It wasn't such a bad day and tomorrow, hopefully, will be a little better.

I have to feel a little proud, a little happy with myself. I have no real reason to feel this loss inside of me. Sure, things aren't easy, are not going to be from here on out. Yes, I don't have her love and I wish I did. But we have this hugely important friendship, something that I'll treasure for the rest of my life. These months have been incredibly life-changing to me and I can see it now. She touched my life in more ways than I can describe and I'll always cherish everything she is to me.

I'm not perfect, I made mistakes and I learned from them. Above it all, I lived this moment like I meant it. We are only as important in people's lives as the ways in which they can remember what we did for them. And I'm really proud of the friend I always was, always have been. I didn't actually do anything wrong. It simply wasn't meant to be, not right now.

My sorrow and sadness are a little deeper than that, though, and the tears do really come out at night. I'm not in a simple place in my life. My emotions run high, right now. All my hopes and dreams came out to play. So much has changed, I really don't know what to do with them.

Still, I could really use a wish right now...